shadow

wherever you go
you take it with you, always
your abstract shadow

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always a second fiddle

with bare bone and skin
i danced in front of mirror
you saw, pulled a face

cool breeze poked you from behind
you also started dancing

(NaPoWriMo Day 27)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

vicious circle

i could get acquainted
with
all six enemies
that i sired with you
through a single guru
and
that is you

miss kama the desire
mr krodha the anger
miss lobha the greed
mr moha the delusion
miss mada the arrogance
mr matsarya the jealousy
all ganged up
and
marched in unison
in a bid to bring me down

a poet-to-lover-to-lunatic
i’m struggling to get over

oh guru,
show me the path further
i need to get out
of this vicious circle

(NaPoWriMo Day 26)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

confusion

got left in the lurch
after blowing hot and cold
with usual breath

confusion’s my ingrained trait
you took it for deception

(NaPoWriMo Day 25)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

elusive illusion

what we call reality
is
but an elusive illusion
that has forced all
to accept what is not as what is
and vice versa

my being
and
thus these sufferings
mean nothing
compared to yours

you  know
so do i
that
you are me
and
i am you

even so
i suffer from denial of reality
and
you know
it’s a disease whatsoever

is it because
you have remained you
and
i could not rise above me?
————————–

come
and dissolve in me
or
invite me to dissolve in you

that union
when happens
will be prime

then
we will shine
with
another reality
nay
elusive illusion

(NaPoWriMo Day 22, Post#23)

days and nights

days are a despair and nights a nightmare
time gets stuck and leaves me not anywhere
bloody thoughts rule me when there is light
dark means no sleep or bad dreams marred by fright

(NaPoWriMo Day 21, Post#21)

blood moon

maybe
you realised that
it’s you who made me mad

that’s why you felt bad
hid under the murk
and turned red-faced too
thousands of miles away from me Blood MoonPhoto: Associated Press
(NaPoWriMo Post#15)

i promised my eyes a life

                           (National Poetry Writing Month Day 13)

i gazed at my eyes
i forced myself to see
what they were up to
i tried to listen to them

browbeaten by bothersome brain
and
well-worn for want of repose
they remained silent for a while
and
looked back at me innocently

with an innate brightness
they naively
spilled
curiosity and will to see more

that is to say
they protested
what i was up to
ignorant of what they actually did

then i promised them a life

all have to die some time or other
be that as it may
i shall live
i shall live at least for my innocent eyes

i’ve  promised my eyes my life
i’ll live

(NaPoWriMo Post#13)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

domino effect


realisation that
i ain’t what i believed i was
made me feel bad

impression that
you became what i believed you weren’t
made me feel worse

either way
i look down on myself now

(NaPoWriMo Post#10)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

caterpillar to butterfly

making friends with a caterpillar
i’m waiting
it to become butterfly
and fly away with more colour

you are free to call me mad
but
what i want shall happen one day
if i don’t die

(NaPoWriMo Post#9)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

lows and a high

i tasted
two new flavours
one for you
the other for me

the breeze
that blew
to cool the heated evening
is the witness

though sweet and soothing
the treat
started tasting bitter
at the crossroad
where you left me high and dry
once upon a time

instantly
gripped by an anxiety bout afresh
then
i started measuring the path
towards an unknown safe haven
hurriedly
drenched in sweat
and drained of all energy

only to get over the low
i decided to taste
something that i’d never taste
as a gatecrasher

something is crawling
under my skin
i’m numb and irresolute too
but what i want to happen is
a magic – a black magic in fact
with a sweet aftermath

not to choke anymore
i’m readying myself
to stop breathing
but still living

this bloody air is contaminated
with
all dark and pungent smoke

can my olfaction
smell it sweet some day?

(NaPoWriMo Post#8)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

not living in the present

BUBBLES AND RIPPLES

BUBBLES AND RIPPLES

when nebulous memories of the past lives
start gripping you
when you get to
foresee sporadic events of future
and they turn out to be true
you forget that
you have to live today too

in this jumble
of reality and clairvoyance nonesuch
you fear of being mocked as a mental
and
distance yourself from the others

you struggle with the self to be normal

then
you get to comprehend
the esoteric relation
between coincidence and fate
and
impermanence of mundane existence

you feel
it’s like water bubbles and ripples
forming in a muddy road
contaminated with spilled lubricating oil
and disappearing instantly
during a drizzle

your reflection on the bubbles
breaks loose and
gets swept away along with the ripples
only to form again
and repeat the cycle

though you complain of unfairness
you know that
what you feel or say goes in vain
because that’s the second fiddle’s fate

———–
dude, what you know to do is
either dreaming or complaining only

———–

i wish i could go back to the past
and
stop you from meeting me
that no moon night
to prevent the present miseries
that the filthy mouse inflicted on us
oh, blue butterfly!
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

———-

i will fuck this fix one day
and rescue you
on the fifth phase of waxing moon

but when?

let me dream again

please don’t wake me up
for the time being
i am sleeping…

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

black hole in the making

last time
i had to burn myself
to get over the darkness
that you brought in

now
what remains
is a smouldering bod
sans soul

though invisible
black holes
can absorb everything
light to matter notwithstanding

a collapsing star
i could be a black hole in the making

if it happens,
next encounter whatsoever
won’t be as amiable as the last ones
because
the light
that is to say you
would have to fall into me
and lose your existence

thanks

you forced me to retire
from the tangible
but
how can i not tell you
what i see or feel
every now and then?

… pink-bleeding blackberry kathmandu collage

… new stars that i spot in between pisces and aries

… cloud patterns

… the narrowest alleyway i’ve ever walked past

… two-leg carrot

… midnight breeze

… bizzare hairdos

… owls in union

… 2am meal

… spirorgasm

… anhedonia

… pickpockets in bus

… 19yo’s affair with her best friend’s grandfather

… renowned writer with no writer’s fork but broken girdle of venus

… good poems that i read on wordpress

… omgfacts tweets

… astro wonders

… dreams and interpretations

… story of chicken and fox

… my decision to quit coffee

… juicy gossips …

¤¤¤

from pseudo-conversations
i recently
graduated to soliloquy

someday
i may find a way out
to feel you too
–without letting others perceive you–
and
prevent myself from being a second fiddle

that time
even if others use any disorder-ly term to define my state
i won’t give a hoot
because
i already know
i live in delusion
and
it’s you who made me realise that

i’m really thankful to you
for this
— though painful —
none-such spiritual bliss

thanks

¤BlackBerry Poem¤