ephemeral, but life moves on, quite quietly



life moves on

i’m a bit of a recluse, and it had been quite a while i stayed off. that is to say remained quite. as usual.

my muse was already dead; i didn’t want to resurrect it from the grave of the past. the graphic devastation that the 2015 earthquakes brought in, however, literally shook my inner self.

i would literally weep at times. for unknown reasons, and involuntarily. tears were not under my control, they never were. but they would trickle without my knowledge. poetic expressions and plots of what i would believe as amazing stories would flit through my mind. i would be flying in the flight of ideas in no time, as if i was a maniac or a substance abuser.

love, affection, fear, greed, ego, and aversion were all but the mundane traits that would couple with cryptic personality quirks, and further make me weaker in one fell swoop. but then would come to my mind how thousands of people and monuments lost their state of being, not just their vainglory of contiguous past, in a blink of an eye.

death is obvious. they say all roads lead to rome. i would take rome for oblivion here. then i would flash back. and realising that how vain i had been, on the other hand, would make me numb and irresolute. i would want to say sorry to some. but i never did. probably because doing so would hurt the intangible and abysmal ego, which probably overwhelmed me without letting know me its being. another layer below it, give it any name, was urging me to say “let bygones be bygones”, and to move on.

well, what i just wrote above is a stark evidence of how verbose, and nonsense for that matter, i could be. duh! i ended up beating around the bush — unintentionally but habitually. old habit die hard?

what brought me back are these tomato berries (seen in the photograph).

they have a story. it touched me when i heard it.

they are wild tomato berries. as big as my thumbnail. fully organic — no pesticide, no man-made genetic modification.

a family from dolakha brought the wild fruits to kathmandu. a member of the family gifted them to my sister. my sister brought them home.

my sister’s friend lost her house and a family member when powerful earthquake struck dolakha on may 12. it was a colossal loss.

time flies.

wild tomato plants grew on the rubble. they fruited also. 

recalling the horror during the mega earthquake days and the family’s tragedy, i tasted the berries. they were tasty.


when i gulped down the raw berries — they are sour and sweet with unique wild aroma — they probably were telling me how resilient life force is.

destruction is an integral part of nature. more often than not life springs back. there’s no other choice.

it’s ephemeral
nevertheless life moves on
quite so quietly


sky and peach blossoms

sky too rejoices 
as peach tree blossoms all-rose
luring waxing moonmagh-peach-chabahil-flower

—————————- Continue reading

i promised my eyes a life

                           (National Poetry Writing Month Day 13)

i gazed at my eyes
i forced myself to see
what they were up to
i tried to listen to them

browbeaten by bothersome brain
well-worn for want of repose
they remained silent for a while
looked back at me innocently

with an innate brightness
they naively
curiosity and will to see more

that is to say
they protested
what i was up to
ignorant of what they actually did

then i promised them a life

all have to die some time or other
be that as it may
i shall live
i shall live at least for my innocent eyes

i’ve  promised my eyes my life
i’ll live

(NaPoWriMo Post#13)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

vestal shudder and esoteric message

the mountains
— black and white, bare and half-clad —
reminded me of you
once again
notwithstanding whether they were virgin or climbed
forced me to cut over
the pseudo-conversations
in which
you had been cutting in
(or, say, I was used to
all the time
for an age


the strong wind
bore the “fiery” breath of snow
imparted a shudder on my heart
a vestal and virtuous feeling —
pain coupled with joy
vestiges of odium, if any, translated into love
frigidity nonexistent
affection multiplied
a strong intuition that
my days are numbered
overwhelmed me
on the other hand


then and there
at the end of the universe
with no delay
i left a message for you
in a language
that you don’t understand
(regardless of the possibility
you could remain ignorant about it


i won’t be here
to see you
savvying me
if that ever happens
hating me anew
for reasons galore
— good or bad —
that you would gather


i know, i know
you won’t miss me in any way
even bother to pray — not even in a pity —
for the peace of my soul
you probably think is troubled,
if not cursed


you can hate me
(please hate me to the core)
if that makes you feel happy
i won’t complain
now or then
alive or dead


fly high in the sky
i’ll never try to catch you
you are a free bird


(hope your flight will land
some day
to decipher the mantra esoteric
that i’ve taken up
and left for you as the message
the alchemist way)


Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

fate is set

    count me in your hard time
    i’d try to be there
    by your side

    time is tide
    light is bright
    life is brief
    death is truth
    date is late
    fate is set
    i promise to remain away
    you feel
    you could be happy sans my presence

    no more game
    words are same
    present or past
    the die is cast!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Shame shame (हग्नेलाई भन्दा देख्नेलाई लाज)

After Gyanendra Shah’s “press conference”, some crude and rude media people took over the chair the recently dethroned king had just left and posed to the camera mimicking the former.Gyanendra Shah reading his Press Release(Photograph by Krishna Dhungana via mysansar.com)

And they boastfully tried to justify what they did in front of the television camera! I was ashamed seeing the photo session and hearing their cheap words.

Reportedly, some of them vandalized the hall and tried to “steal” some valuables also.

“On duty” Nepalese journos presented them as uncivil in front of the foreign “lenses” through which the rest of the world is watching the development in Nepal.  Being a scribe of one-time, I am ashamed of the unmannerly and unethical drama by the social watchdogs. What I think is they were supposed to be messengers primarily during their job of reporting. Their personal choice or political inclination should have been secondary at the palace today!

Do all of us know what the heck social moral responsibility is?

When shall journalists learn the culture and good manners?


Was really pissed off (and sort of happy also) seeing this picture published in today’s Kantipur Daily; Mr. Western Journo too  is enjoying the hot seat and busy posing… It’s not only Nepali media people then! :)


Shame, Shame.

हग्नेलाई भन्दा देख्नेलाई लाज भनेको यही हो।

As suggested by NepaliAkash, here is Dance Monkeys Dance! Watch it!

Monarchy abolished, when the attitude?

The monarchy has authentically been abolished by the newly elected Constituent Assembly, after all.

However, I wonder whether the vestiges of the noblesse/feudalism/autocracy could be decimated successfully. The attitude is the same; not that easy to change it.

Look at Aarju Deuba née Rana, for an instance! She still brags on being granddaughter of one of the Rana rulers. It’s all because of the fortune that she and her parents inherited from the autocrats by looting the national treasure!

Had the then government after the big change in 2007 BS nationalized all the property the Ranas,in one way or another, stole from the state and the people, Aarju sort of people would not shoot a line that way…
Because it’s the wealth that  services a person status and power.

Now, if  Gyanendra Shah and the family is given an opportunity to master the property that they garnered or inherited
entertaining the royal line, it would be unfair. To people, for sure.

Only abolishing the monarchy won’t change the scenario; give the royalties a chance to live as dignified citizens but sequester the property that they have stolen!

Why to see more Aarjus!

Leaving the Village

Well, here is Sanyukta Shrestha’s work!

It’s awesome and heart-touching.  For sure, of world class.

However, I  wonder  why the golden colour here  is high-and-mighty. May be  the colour combination is vintage Sanyukta. :)  That colour reminded me one of your works hung at the back of our classroom. Yes, the one that I wanted to steal (on time) but somebody else did that in time! :(  Does anyone have idea who the lucky thief is?

Bla bla bla

Desktop not working at all, laptop too with problems……….
I wish there were no computer viruses. :(
The new one that has been my headache is kinza.exe. McAfee detects and quarantines it. However cannnot delete it.
I tried to play with Kaspersky. But it fired me back. My computer that has 2GB RAM and 1.6 GHz processor became very very very very very very …………. slow.
Finally, I uninstalled it.
Tired with Windows’ problems and virus attacks, shall I take to Linux now? How user friendly is it?

By the way, I dont know what happened to my desktop. Only I hear the fan’s srrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. No other activities…………. No light at motherboard, but yes while pressing the turn off button, there is yellow light at the hard disk. What really happened is I tried to check an old hard disk. But…………. may be it’s problems with the power socket……….. May be with motherboard. But hopefully not with the harddisk. I have all my property in that little thing.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm Jwalanta is out there to help me rescue the documents.