no stock for tonight

concealed under circles of smoke
embellished with flying ash
if you see a mossy face
with reddened eyes and glare on glasses
choking at times
but not stopping to light fags after fags
held by slender hands
you may think that he could be a poet
deep in his thought
or
a philosopher trying to theorise something nonsense
or
a lovelorn man struggling to cope with his recent tragedies

when i see
eight butts by my side
while trying to locate saturn in the hazy sky for an hour
i laugh at myself

why only mars and spica
and
jupiter, castor and pollux
are so conspicuous
and other planets are elusive tonight?

i fucqueen have only one cigarette left
and
all shops are closed by now

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

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save frogs

from an old dairy

hello!
planet earth here!

rd5: amphetamine

cued in veritably
maybe it’s a headway
i’m all ears

when dead tired
you count me out
oh
exhibitionists

for rupticism
what’s your hunch?
bad rep
you tailed him?

add up

hello folks
curse me for this rigmarole
but
save frogs and toads
i like their croaks

stashed away for years
my assets
have gathered dust
and
become a safe haven to silverfish
they rule in there and procreate
but i doubt
if they could swim in knowledge or taste sanskrit verses

i like mud and lotus and frogs
they deliver love and knowledge and wisdom
i want to swim in
from their puddle to ocean

grow flowers and give up guns
love frogs and stop hating others

high time indeed
to end the hibernation
and start singing like frogs
the esoteric songs
(of love and love-making)

when will it rain?
i need some muse again

(NaPoWriMo Day 30, Post# 31)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

can fish survive out of water

ninja tuna tracks
play in the background repeatedly
i don’t bother to change them
not even to lower the volume

i want to irritate myself
with music
that i would never get to understand

like a baked potato
about to get charred
in a kaput machine
i excuse myself
not to open the windows
even if i’ve confined myself
in a like-an-oven room

i want to let
the last drop of water in my body
ooze out and evaporate

like cures like
so they say

i want to opacify my vision instead
and
see whether fish can survive out of water
(NaPoWriMo Day 29)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

vicious circle

i could get acquainted
with
all six enemies
that i sired with you
through a single guru
and
that is you

miss kama the desire
mr krodha the anger
miss lobha the greed
mr moha the delusion
miss mada the arrogance
mr matsarya the jealousy
all ganged up
and
marched in unison
in a bid to bring me down

a poet-to-lover-to-lunatic
i’m struggling to get over

oh guru,
show me the path further
i need to get out
of this vicious circle

(NaPoWriMo Day 26)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

mercurial fate

as head of the dragon
started spewing fire
i ran for cover

i ran far away
and decided
never to return

super sun
musing moon
jovial jupiter
mighty mars
all messed around and went past
as a mute spectator only
when i suffered the worst ever despair

combust mercury
and thus always mocked
nevertheless
brought the mercurial twist
in the story

i’m back home
after 16 days and 15 nights

i’m least worried now
for i’ve pulled in my horns
and
i won’t care
even if saturn makes me sad or strong
or
venus makes me virile or vile

fucqueen fate is mercurial
it can fuck us any time it wants

(NaPoWriMo Day 23)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

elusive illusion

what we call reality
is
but an elusive illusion
that has forced all
to accept what is not as what is
and vice versa

my being
and
thus these sufferings
mean nothing
compared to yours

you  know
so do i
that
you are me
and
i am you

even so
i suffer from denial of reality
and
you know
it’s a disease whatsoever

is it because
you have remained you
and
i could not rise above me?
————————–

come
and dissolve in me
or
invite me to dissolve in you

that union
when happens
will be prime

then
we will shine
with
another reality
nay
elusive illusion

(NaPoWriMo Day 22, Post#23)

border

mt machhapuchhre as seen from lake phewa in pokhara

mt machhapuchhre as seen from lake phewa in pokhara

नापेर नांगा आँखाले
अनुमानका भरमा
माछापुच्छ्रेको उचाइ
फेरि गलत हुनुछैन मलाई

किनकि
बादलको साम्राज्य फैलिँदा
छुट्टिँदैन
हिमाल र आकाशको सिमाना

——————————————–
i don’t want to gauge
machhapuchhre with bare eyes
and make its height
a wrong guesswork

when empire of clouds expands
border of mountains and sky
cannot be separated

(NaPoWriMo Post#17)

blood moon

maybe
you realised that
it’s you who made me mad

that’s why you felt bad
hid under the murk
and turned red-faced too
thousands of miles away from me Blood MoonPhoto: Associated Press
(NaPoWriMo Post#15)

i promised my eyes a life

                           (National Poetry Writing Month Day 13)

i gazed at my eyes
i forced myself to see
what they were up to
i tried to listen to them

browbeaten by bothersome brain
and
well-worn for want of repose
they remained silent for a while
and
looked back at me innocently

with an innate brightness
they naively
spilled
curiosity and will to see more

that is to say
they protested
what i was up to
ignorant of what they actually did

then i promised them a life

all have to die some time or other
be that as it may
i shall live
i shall live at least for my innocent eyes

i’ve  promised my eyes my life
i’ll live

(NaPoWriMo Post#13)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

domino effect


realisation that
i ain’t what i believed i was
made me feel bad

impression that
you became what i believed you weren’t
made me feel worse

either way
i look down on myself now

(NaPoWriMo Post#10)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

caterpillar to butterfly

making friends with a caterpillar
i’m waiting
it to become butterfly
and fly away with more colour

you are free to call me mad
but
what i want shall happen one day
if i don’t die

(NaPoWriMo Post#9)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

lows and a high

i tasted
two new flavours
one for you
the other for me

the breeze
that blew
to cool the heated evening
is the witness

though sweet and soothing
the treat
started tasting bitter
at the crossroad
where you left me high and dry
once upon a time

instantly
gripped by an anxiety bout afresh
then
i started measuring the path
towards an unknown safe haven
hurriedly
drenched in sweat
and drained of all energy

only to get over the low
i decided to taste
something that i’d never taste
as a gatecrasher

something is crawling
under my skin
i’m numb and irresolute too
but what i want to happen is
a magic – a black magic in fact
with a sweet aftermath

not to choke anymore
i’m readying myself
to stop breathing
but still living

this bloody air is contaminated
with
all dark and pungent smoke

can my olfaction
smell it sweet some day?

(NaPoWriMo Post#8)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

music of silence

what we call
the sound of silence
in fact is
musical motif of a chorus
that cicadas sing
remaining in the oblivion
and
reminding all that life exists
even if the world is in slumber

this april evening
cooled and silenced by a storm
even the rowdy dogs are mute
but
i can hear the music of cicadas
and
i’m trying to understand
what they are singing

trttttttttttttttt…
snnnnnnnnnn..
swnaaaaaaaaa..
they sing non-stop

(NaPoWriMo Post#3)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

juggernaut

seeing
the yellow datura blossoms
that disperse aphrodisiac fragrance
in the evenings
drooping
and losing their lustre
in an april noon
after a charming morning
you get to realise
how transient their beauty can be

here now and gone after a while…

you remember
how your phallus wilts
after the cloud nine and the coming
union to disunion
leaving you fagged out
and depressed
not caring for fresh flesh pleasure
for the time being

by the way
who governs this juggernaut
who runs this wheel of nature?

i want to fight it
and get crushed
i want to dematerialise in it…

/NaPoWriMo Post#2/

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

worse than death

as luck would have it
i survived
despite what stars portended
but
i died every moment then
while living with the fear of death

with reasons galore to run away
i feared of hurting you
and failed to communicate properly
it followed that
what i did or what i didn’t
hurt you even more

now
you’ve made believe yourself
i don’t exist
which is worse than any form of death

death has a history of existence
nonexistence is but void

maybe
this was the best way for  you
to punish me and
quite quietly
heal the heart that i hurt

(NaPoWriMo Post#1)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

not living in the present

BUBBLES AND RIPPLES

BUBBLES AND RIPPLES

when nebulous memories of the past lives
start gripping you
when you get to
foresee sporadic events of future
and they turn out to be true
you forget that
you have to live today too

in this jumble
of reality and clairvoyance nonesuch
you fear of being mocked as a mental
and
distance yourself from the others

you struggle with the self to be normal

then
you get to comprehend
the esoteric relation
between coincidence and fate
and
impermanence of mundane existence

you feel
it’s like water bubbles and ripples
forming in a muddy road
contaminated with spilled lubricating oil
and disappearing instantly
during a drizzle

your reflection on the bubbles
breaks loose and
gets swept away along with the ripples
only to form again
and repeat the cycle

though you complain of unfairness
you know that
what you feel or say goes in vain
because that’s the second fiddle’s fate

———–
dude, what you know to do is
either dreaming or complaining only

———–

i wish i could go back to the past
and
stop you from meeting me
that no moon night
to prevent the present miseries
that the filthy mouse inflicted on us
oh, blue butterfly!
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

———-

i will fuck this fix one day
and rescue you
on the fifth phase of waxing moon

but when?

let me dream again

please don’t wake me up
for the time being
i am sleeping…

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

blue butterfly

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ tanka: blue butterfly Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

with moon on backdrop
in rice field near river, hills
flew blue butterfly

i took out my camera
and captured it in the dream
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

¤BlackBerry Poem¤