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By Himanshu Kaishuvam Posted in ramblings Tagged

Today’s diary

There was a dream this morning. I was taking some Mathematics exams in my school. (I can say it was HVM because most of the colleagues were from the school and the location of the toilet in the dream was same.) Very hard questions. I could not solve any. There was an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety when I got up.

In the dream was Abedan also. He who passed away in an accident when we were in grade IX often comes in my dream says he is alive. It’s been a couple of years I had not seen him. Earlier, his repeated saying that was alive used to haunt me in a sense.

I was about to take a shower. Heard the ring of telephone. Sis was taking a nap. I did not want her to be disturbed. (I knew the call was for me.)

I had to reach Lainchowr at 1:30.

I was a little bit late. (I don’t wear watch. But in the microbus, I had seen time at fellow commuter’s wrist watch and thought that I would the place on time. I was 15 minutes late. I didn’t sorry to the friend who was waiting me there. No revenge intended though.)

BCN! Dr. Baral had not left any message there. Futile going there today.

At Lazimpat, the cold coffee was really cold. I don’t remember the taste.

I am fighting with myself. So no arguments.

I have found out a way out to win the fight: running away.

At Pilgrims, I spent more than two hours. Turned pages of many books. Forgot the names, though. I will buy some books that I saw today. That one ..ummmmmmm “World famous vegetarians and their recipies” or something like … I want to read. But it costs about a kilo. I didn’t know that Pythgoras and Socrates too were veggie. I knew about Gandhi and Bernard Shaw. Since the book was plastic covered I could only read the front and back pages. No complaints however.

Upstairs I went through different rooms laden with books. I laughed when I read what Daruwallah’s written about my zodiac sign. “Very critical and fault-finding.”

Upanishads and other philosophical books. Good God, knowledge and philosophy; I always feel tiny among books. There are writers who can write volumes. There are thinkers and analysts who are very rational and can persuade others. I wish I had some traits of theirs.

Some people who say I take a haughty tone. May be I am arrogant.

I wish I could buy the books at the Pilgrim’s. I wanted to buy some today. I counted how much dough I had and decided to buy the “An Autobiography on Yogi” only. The reasons are it was not very expensive, and also I have heard about the book many times.

To get discount, I spoke to the person at the cash account in Nepali. (I often do not speak Nepali in Thamel. I love people thinking me a foreinger.)
Basanta offered me a cold drink. Later Prakash dai came. We went to Pramila di’s restaurant. They know that I am a strict veggie and did not force to eat anything. Dai drank a lemon soda and I coke.

Wasim has returned from Kashmir yesterday. He with Parna and another friend entered the restaurant when he saw us. He asked us to join them.

Nawaz time for them. After brief Nawaz, it was time to eat something. Fruits and pakodas.

Parna gave me a piece of khazur. I did not want to eat that but it would be insulting to accept the “Prasad.” Reluctantly, I eat the “chhogada” in ‘chaasni” made in some Arabic country. Later, they forced me to eat bananas too.

After that they started praying. Raza was the maulavi, their leader I mean. Facing towards the direction of Mecca, he started reciting mantras in Arabic. Yokkha too was there.

They ate their meal of the day. It’s Ramajan and they are on fasting during the day time. These Kashimiris haven’t given up their tradition.

Parna and Wasim smoked after their meal. However, Wasim did not forget to say that to smoke is “haram” in the month of Ramajan.

The well-hewn wooden box attracted me. But they are very expensive.

It was seven when I left Thamel. I was feeling very hungry. “I will eat like a pig,” I thought.