show me my sky

ए हिउँ 
मलाई मेरो आकाश देखाइ‍देऊ!….

———
oh snow,
show me my sky!

i will fly high
and
dive back onto you to cry
in happiness by
transforming pain to pleasure-sigh
anxiety to strength multiplied
ego to compassion dignified
grief to wisdom simplified…
————
this song
that nobody wrote or sang in real life
tickled my ears
from within several layers of dreams
in my morning sleep
and
is still reverberating
and
provoking me to find the meaning

(NaPoWriMo Day 28)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

border

mt machhapuchhre as seen from lake phewa in pokhara

mt machhapuchhre as seen from lake phewa in pokhara

नापेर नांगा आँखाले
अनुमानका भरमा
माछापुच्छ्रेको उचाइ
फेरि गलत हुनुछैन मलाई

किनकि
बादलको साम्राज्य फैलिँदा
छुट्टिँदैन
हिमाल र आकाशको सिमाना

——————————————–
i don’t want to gauge
machhapuchhre with bare eyes
and make its height
a wrong guesswork

when empire of clouds expands
border of mountains and sky
cannot be separated

(NaPoWriMo Post#17)

black hole in the making

last time
i had to burn myself
to get over the darkness
that you brought in

now
what remains
is a smouldering bod
sans soul

though invisible
black holes
can absorb everything
light to matter notwithstanding

a collapsing star
i could be a black hole in the making

if it happens,
next encounter whatsoever
won’t be as amiable as the last ones
because
the light
that is to say you
would have to fall into me
and lose your existence

blooming bosom

MOON AND JUPITER PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK WITH CLOUD IN KATHMANDU

CELESTIAL

floating above the waxing moon
jupiter plays peek-a-boo
with a patch of milky cloud

i can see
a giant bosom
they have formed  in the heavens

now, i recall a lass in her salad days
sipping coffee
and stealing a glimpse of me
at a mall
before the sunset

the dots
daring the white fabric
above her blooming moons
equate to jupiter
in this celestial parallel

lesson

euphoric about the completeness
that it will acquire tomorrow
one bright moon
flirts with so many black and white clouds
one after another
and dances past the zenith
making the mountains jealous
and
leaving me puzzled

does the moon know
the day after tomorrow
it has to witness the bane
and
again
go on the wane?

or
is it giving a demonstrative lesson
on impermanence
and
telling me to
learn the mantra of
carpe diem?

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

thanks

you forced me to retire
from the tangible
but
how can i not tell you
what i see or feel
every now and then?

… pink-bleeding blackberry kathmandu collage

… new stars that i spot in between pisces and aries

… cloud patterns

… the narrowest alleyway i’ve ever walked past

… two-leg carrot

… midnight breeze

… bizzare hairdos

… owls in union

… 2am meal

… spirorgasm

… anhedonia

… pickpockets in bus

… 19yo’s affair with her best friend’s grandfather

… renowned writer with no writer’s fork but broken girdle of venus

… good poems that i read on wordpress

… omgfacts tweets

… astro wonders

… dreams and interpretations

… story of chicken and fox

… my decision to quit coffee

… juicy gossips …

¤¤¤

from pseudo-conversations
i recently
graduated to soliloquy

someday
i may find a way out
to feel you too
–without letting others perceive you–
and
prevent myself from being a second fiddle

that time
even if others use any disorder-ly term to define my state
i won’t give a hoot
because
i already know
i live in delusion
and
it’s you who made me realise that

i’m really thankful to you
for this
— though painful –
none-such spiritual bliss

thanks

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

confession diary of a caterpillar

Metamorphosis: From Wood to God

Metamorphosis: From Wood to God

the stories
on air, earth, water, fire and sky
that i told you
or
the poems
that got composed on their own
and
you quite so perceived
through your trained volition
were all but secondary

here i confess
at midnight
when
half of the world
which is dumb
is further numbed,
they were excuses
put up redundantly
to redeem my scruples
to inseminate my ego

as a matter of fact
i was running away from myself, not you
i was adding up layers of excuses to obscure the truth
and
that’s what i do
when i fall in love

all i want is to rise
(and love myself more)
even so
that none will surmise

cursed by echo
and chased by nemesis
i am an avatar of narcissus
devoid of charm

yes, i’m unpredictable
maybe
bit touched in the head too
but
i don’t want to die
(as a caterpillar)
without my metamorphosis

will i ever grow wings?
what will i be:
an ugly moth
or a beautiful butterfly?

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

who are you?

Illustration

Confused!

flapping the furry wings
and
caressing the bright crest,
you landed by my side
from the big, gray-blue clouds
and
gestured at me to come close

——–
as usual,
i could feel the warmth of your breath
when you whispered
to say-
i had been a stopover only, and nothing more,
in your journey

—-
you
succeeded in confusing me,
completely
—–

with
the scent alien
kathmandu-sky-clouds.jpggestures sui generis
and
manifestation inexplicable,
who are you
by the way?
———————————

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

vestal shudder and esoteric message

the mountains
– black and white, bare and half-clad –
reminded me of you
once again
notwithstanding whether they were virgin or climbed
and,
forced me to cut over
the pseudo-conversations
in which
you had been cutting in
(or, say, I was used to
fantasising)
all the time
for an age

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

the strong wind
that
bore the “fiery” breath of snow
imparted a shudder on my heart
with
a vestal and virtuous feeling –
pain coupled with joy
vestiges of odium, if any, translated into love
frigidity nonexistent
affection multiplied
and,
a strong intuition that
my days are numbered
overwhelmed me
on the other hand

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

then and there
at the end of the universe
with no delay
i left a message for you
in a language
that you don’t understand
now
(regardless of the possibility
that
you could remain ignorant about it
forever)

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

i won’t be here
to see you
savvying me
if that ever happens
or
hating me anew
for reasons galore
– good or bad –
that you would gather

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

i know, i know
you won’t miss me in any way
or
even bother to pray — not even in a pity –
for the peace of my soul
that
you probably think is troubled,
if not cursed

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

you can hate me
(please hate me to the core)
if that makes you feel happy
i won’t complain
now or then
alive or dead

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

fly high in the sky
i’ll never try to catch you
you are a free bird

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

(hope your flight will land
there
some day
to decipher the mantra esoteric
that i’ve taken up
and left for you as the message
the alchemist way)

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

मौनको अभ्यास

“जूनले प्राण भर्छ
निराकार आकाशमा”
Moon above the Ganges, Varanasi

निराकार आकाशमा
जब बादलले रङ्ग
अनि जूनले प्राण भर्छन्
म खोज्छु तिम्रो आकृति
अनायासै
त्यतै कतै
अनन्तको अथाह गहिराइमा

प्रतिक्षण खिइँदो
त्यो चन्द्रमा साक्षी छ
शीतको दोलाईँ ओढेर
मनको यान
स्मृतिसागरमा जब खस्छ
अनित्यबोधको यात्रामा तगारो तेर्स्याउँदै
त्यही मन सुटुक्क गुनासो गर्छ
‘किन पाइँन मैलै जन्मदिनको शुभकामना?’

वितर्कको चिसो झोक्का
मनको कानमा निस्लोट पोल लाउँछ

तर्साउँछ
शालीनताको मौन (‍‍= मौनको शालीन) अभ्यासलाई
गम्भीर अपराधको ढकसँग तौलिदिँदै

सपनामा सल्बलाउने ती रंगीन सर्पहरू
ठुङ्छन् मेरा हात निरन्तर
ऐँठनको संगीतमा रम्दै

विज्ञानको चटक
त्यसमा नुन छर्किदिन्छ
अनि
तयार पार्छ मलाई
बुझाउन
अभ्यन्तरका अनेक
गुह्यातिगुह्य कथा
जुन कहिल्यै लेखिने छैनन्

अरूलाई थाहा छैन
(र
म बताउने पनि छैन)
हामी त्यो संसारमा छौँ
जुन निस्पृह छ
संभवत:
अहम्तुष्टिको महायागमा तन्मय

बोधिवृक्षको हावा
खण्डित चेतना जोडिदिन्छ
मायाको तुँवालो फाट्छ
अनि
अनित्यबोधको बाटोमा
फर्कन्छ उही मन
नि:शर्त, निर्लिप्त, निरालम्ब

पुन:
मौनको अभ्यास गर्न ।

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

बोधिवृक्ष
Bodhi Tree, Bodhgaya