i promised my eyes a life

                           (National Poetry Writing Month Day 13)

i gazed at my eyes
i forced myself to see
what they were up to
i tried to listen to them

browbeaten by bothersome brain
and
well-worn for want of repose
they remained silent for a while
and
looked back at me innocently

with an innate brightness
they naively
spilled
curiosity and will to see more

that is to say
they protested
what i was up to
ignorant of what they actually did

then i promised them a life

all have to die some time or other
be that as it may
i shall live
i shall live at least for my innocent eyes

i’ve  promised my eyes my life
i’ll live

(NaPoWriMo Post#13)

¤BlackBerry Poem¤

vestal shudder and esoteric message

the mountains
– black and white, bare and half-clad –
reminded me of you
once again
notwithstanding whether they were virgin or climbed
and,
forced me to cut over
the pseudo-conversations
in which
you had been cutting in
(or, say, I was used to
fantasising)
all the time
for an age

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

the strong wind
that
bore the “fiery” breath of snow
imparted a shudder on my heart
with
a vestal and virtuous feeling –
pain coupled with joy
vestiges of odium, if any, translated into love
frigidity nonexistent
affection multiplied
and,
a strong intuition that
my days are numbered
overwhelmed me
on the other hand

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

then and there
at the end of the universe
with no delay
i left a message for you
in a language
that you don’t understand
now
(regardless of the possibility
that
you could remain ignorant about it
forever)

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

i won’t be here
to see you
savvying me
if that ever happens
or
hating me anew
for reasons galore
– good or bad –
that you would gather

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

i know, i know
you won’t miss me in any way
or
even bother to pray — not even in a pity –
for the peace of my soul
that
you probably think is troubled,
if not cursed

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

you can hate me
(please hate me to the core)
if that makes you feel happy
i won’t complain
now or then
alive or dead

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

fly high in the sky
i’ll never try to catch you
you are a free bird

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

(hope your flight will land
there
some day
to decipher the mantra esoteric
that i’ve taken up
and left for you as the message
the alchemist way)

¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤-¤

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

fate is set

    count me in your hard time
    i’d try to be there
    by your side

    time is tide
    light is bright
    life is brief
    death is truth
    maybe
    date is late
    but
    fate is set
    i promise to remain away
    if
    you feel
    you could be happy sans my presence

    no more game
    words are same
    present or past
    the die is cast!

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

avoid me today, please

these love animals (no, i am talking about lovebirds. wings of those birds were clipped and they have been made animals since when-i-don’t-know) are weird. what they do irks me a lot. sure, i let you take this for my jealousy or grapes-are-green outlook. see, how liberal i am!
let me come to the point, no more rambling further.

why i distaste love animals then? as one of the popular nepali idioms (कसलाई केको धन्दा, कसलाई केको? घरज्वाईँलाई खानको । = Who has what work, who has what? Home(-based) son-in-law has only eating work ;) ) says, these animals are concerned only about their partners, meeting or talking about them or at least they try to show (off) that they are what they feign to be.

today the social media sites —facebook and twitter — are abuzz with this-and-that-of-love. oh i see, it’s sent (sic) valentine’s day today. and, it’s obligation for them to talk about love. maybe, the more you talk or make others hear/read what you say/write about love, the more you will be considered a lover. it’s been bounden duty.

people have forgotten the old national anthem — that praised the king, unduly; that i never could memorise, forget about singing — and they are reluctant to learn the new one — at least, i am never going to learn it for sure. nonetheless, with certainty, i can tell you they won’t forget the valentine’s day and to say “i love you” to their “valentines” or wish the valentine day to all random people they meet here and there while idling around or at least write something on facebook or twitter to feign that they have this love fever.

it’s 21st century and the world has become a global village hooked to the stupid thing called internet, right?

co-incidence it was, i also used the word “love” on twitter today. what happened was i was on a dirty safa tempo on the way to my workplace this afternoon, and i saw a bus with some “cheap”love-lit emblazoned on its rear. (it was an old benz-type of bus, by the way)
in some primitive but meaningful english, the bus-love-lit read:

Love is life
Life is damage

ps 1: i could not take its picture because some vehicles came in between

ps 2: if you are not accustomed to public vehicles in kathmandu and whole nepal, let me tell you: such old-hat literature is but a commonplace.

i was bit scared of the ingrained meaning (that was ominous) the two-liner had. many love me; i love many. so, does it mean that my/our life is or is going to be damaged? phew! if an aye, that’s not fair.
or, is this man-woman lovey-dovey love that it was referring to? in that case, i am safe. :D yahoo! i shall celebrate this evening (for not being cursed with any damage).

i digressed again. back to track, i shall mention that only one person wished me the v day today. a colleague she is. and this was a coincidence. (lots of coincidence today, ah!) i just had got out of my office room (maybe for “insurance piss”), and clad in some pinkish sweater she was coming upstairs — only to encounter me. she was in a jolly good mood and said in her pristine tongue: happy valentine’s day! i wished her back while shaking hands, but still on the move.

i did mention this story to tell you that i could not remain untouched with the v day fever, notwithstanding my lack of concern for it.
richard dawkins on love
oh ya, i was having my khaja at a small eatery by the side of my office this evening when i got to read a quote of idiosyncratic richard dawkins on twitter:
Roses are red, Violets are violet, The heart is simply a pump And love is merely a chemical imbalance in the brain.

sounds funny but what he has said is true. i did retweet dipak bhattara’s post.
i am sure i have some chemical imbalance in the brain today. (this rambling is the biggest proof, for an instance).
So,

if you are my crush or i am yours
avoid me today, or i may propose

(i had posted the two-liner on facebook before i started writing this post, and there are two likes. not bad, i guess :) )

Image

ps 1: i did correct some typos and am updating this post using the newly installed wordpress app for my blackberry

ps 2: i think my crush did read this post or facebook status, and is avoiding me. good for you, baby ;)

Shame shame (हग्नेलाई भन्दा देख्नेलाई लाज)

After Gyanendra Shah’s “press conference”, some crude and rude media people took over the chair the recently dethroned king had just left and posed to the camera mimicking the former.Gyanendra Shah reading his Press Release(Photograph by Krishna Dhungana via mysansar.com)

And they boastfully tried to justify what they did in front of the television camera! I was ashamed seeing the photo session and hearing their cheap words.

Reportedly, some of them vandalized the hall and tried to “steal” some valuables also.


“On duty” Nepalese journos presented them as uncivil in front of the foreign “lenses” through which the rest of the world is watching the development in Nepal.  Being a scribe of one-time, I am ashamed of the unmannerly and unethical drama by the social watchdogs. What I think is they were supposed to be messengers primarily during their job of reporting. Their personal choice or political inclination should have been secondary at the palace today!

Do all of us know what the heck social moral responsibility is?

When shall journalists learn the culture and good manners?

Update:

Was really pissed off (and sort of happy also) seeing this picture published in today’s Kantipur Daily; Mr. Western Journo too  is enjoying the hot seat and busy posing… It’s not only Nepali media people then! :)

————————————–

Shame, Shame.

हग्नेलाई भन्दा देख्नेलाई लाज भनेको यही हो।

As suggested by NepaliAkash, here is Dance Monkeys Dance! Watch it!

Monarchy abolished, when the attitude?

The monarchy has authentically been abolished by the newly elected Constituent Assembly, after all.

However, I wonder whether the vestiges of the noblesse/feudalism/autocracy could be decimated successfully. The attitude is the same; not that easy to change it.

Look at Aarju Deuba née Rana, for an instance! She still brags on being granddaughter of one of the Rana rulers. It’s all because of the fortune that she and her parents inherited from the autocrats by looting the national treasure!

Had the then government after the big change in 2007 BS nationalized all the property the Ranas,in one way or another, stole from the state and the people, Aarju sort of people would not shoot a line that way…
Because it’s the wealth that  services a person status and power.

Now, if  Gyanendra Shah and the family is given an opportunity to master the property that they garnered or inherited
entertaining the royal line, it would be unfair. To people, for sure.

Only abolishing the monarchy won’t change the scenario; give the royalties a chance to live as dignified citizens but sequester the property that they have stolen!

Why to see more Aarjus!

Leaving the Village

Well, here is Sanyukta Shrestha’s work!

It’s awesome and heart-touching.  For sure, of world class.

However, I  wonder  why the golden colour here  is high-and-mighty. May be  the colour combination is vintage Sanyukta. :)  That colour reminded me one of your works hung at the back of our classroom. Yes, the one that I wanted to steal (on time) but somebody else did that in time! :(  Does anyone have idea who the lucky thief is?

Bla bla bla

Desktop not working at all, laptop too with problems……….
I wish there were no computer viruses. :(
The new one that has been my headache is kinza.exe. McAfee detects and quarantines it. However cannnot delete it.
I tried to play with Kaspersky. But it fired me back. My computer that has 2GB RAM and 1.6 GHz processor became very very very very very very …………. slow.
Finally, I uninstalled it.
Tired with Windows’ problems and virus attacks, shall I take to Linux now? How user friendly is it?

By the way, I dont know what happened to my desktop. Only I hear the fan’s srrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. No other activities…………. No light at motherboard, but yes while pressing the turn off button, there is yellow light at the hard disk. What really happened is I tried to check an old hard disk. But…………. may be it’s problems with the power socket……….. May be with motherboard. But hopefully not with the harddisk. I have all my property in that little thing.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm Jwalanta is out there to help me rescue the documents.