राजिनामा= i resign

बाटो हिँड्दा लडिएला, उठ्नुपर्छ पनि
बिराउँदा सही बाटो खोज्नुपर्छ फेरि
तारा गन्दा शान्ति मिल्ला, पेट भरिँदैन
शब्दकेस्रा मिठा हुँदै क्लेश मेटिँदैन ।

म जान्दिन
पतिंगरलाई सुन भन्न,

म सक्दिन
पेन्डुलम्को नीरस ट्वाक्ट्वाक्लाई  संगीत मान्न
झन्
सक्दैसक्दिन
हत्केलाले सगर थेग्न, अँजुलीमा सागर  थाप्न ।

त्यसैले
भो अब
म लेख्दिन
कुनै गीत,
म सुन्दिन
भ्रमको संगीत ।
——————————————

i resign 

you may stumble
and
fall down while walking
if so,
you have to get up also

Makhan Galli, Kathmandu

you may go astray at times
but
you get back to track
then after

counting stars may give you a peace of mind
but
it doesn’t  fill your stomach

even if the words are sweet,
anguish is not wiped off

i can’t call
fallen, discolouring leaves
gold
i can’t
take pendulum’s monotonous ticktock for music
i noway can
hold the sky with my hands
or
contain the sea in my palms

that is why
now
i don’t write any composition
i don’t heed to the music of illusion

i resign
yes,
i resign from poetry and all nonsense

bright here, slight there

Full moon above Ghantaghar, Kathmandu

you were full and bright
when i saw you last night
but
hundreds of miles away
you were eaten up by murk

you were bright here, slight there
because
you are moon, and
you can be eclipsed

flowery dreams awake

if it’s forbidden,
tell me
i’ll stop sleeping
but
i won’t stop dreaming

i can dream awake

my dreams are flowery–
always

i hold my dreams firmly,
gently
and
forever
without worrying
whether
they would (not) fruit

dreams are mine
and
see, they shine

firmly, gently and forever
i hold you
oh my dream

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oblivion

if i retire now
alive or dead already
none will get to know

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a diary of a pretender

most of the times
when i have no courage to say no
i simply let the air blow
i surrender and comply with your will

to conceal the reluctance
i pretend enjoying the moments subsequent
and
architect an impression accordingly 
though i know
you hate hypocrisy
(so do i)

when i am natural and spontaneous
you dislike what i do
and
both of us suffer

now
i am afraid of ending up with this role only
in my wish
to see you smile momentarily

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anticlimax

‪

i didn’t want to start it,
it kicked off on its own
i tried to end it, 
it took a dramatic turn

while swinging to and fro
and 
traversing a curve of pain and joy 
for an age 
there i get to feel a fleeting numbness
(every now and then)

as
similar episodes repeat
the worst feelings of paranoia hit
forcing me to believe that 
the story would end with an anticlimax
the way i would never cherish

a mural at gairidhara, kathmandu

the fate is set
and
i would let it happen
(as if i have control over the events)

because 
i realise – the sooner the better

now
i’m desperately waiting for 
the anticlimax (happening)
and
ultimately
the end of the story
that would never be written

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april ride

jasmine smell and dusty rail
bumpy ride with babes on side
no moon day but graced with boon
scorching heat of april noon
‬

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fate is set

count me in your hard time
i’d try to be there
by your side

time is tide
light is bright
life is brief
death is truth
maybe
date is late
but
fate is set

i promise to remain away
if
you feel
you could be happy sans my presence

no more game
words are same
present or past
the die is cast!

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there i can forget you

trapped and chained
in the mundane rituals
of what they call responsibility
i find myself lying
against this cushion
alone

still uncertain
whether
to come out of the comfort zone
and attempt to break free
to follow
the light of liberation
that
i wish
led  me to the vacuum
— devoid of soil and soul
because
that’s the only resort
where
i can forget
the pleasure and the pain
that
i’ve gained
and,
you, above all

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Rhododendron flower

I won’t dare to give you any flower
Because
If I give, flowers will be unhappy with me
Because they want to remain intact with the plant
Because plucking is brutal and it hurts them
But
I dared to pluck one in your name
I took its photograph and posted here
To remember later that I did pluck it for you
Though I will never give it to you
Because if I give, I will be cursed
Because the vibrant Rhododendron flower has wrinkled and dried now
And its pain has multiplied

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